1. Calm down/relax/take it easy now
If you like your life, never say these words
to her. The truth may be that is she is not
calm or relaxed but she already knows this
and you will not get any boyfriend points for
mentioning it to her. By telling her to relax,
you are telling her she is out of control
instead of showing her you are listening to
what she is saying.
2. Are you mad/crazy/out of your senses?
Your girlfriend might be shouting at you and
saying harsh words but you should not do
the same. Two wrongs do not make a right.
If you see she is riled up, then wait until she
is calm before you express that what she
said earlier hurt your feelings. Do not shout
back or challenge her verbally because
neither of you will be communicating, you
will only be fueling the argument.
3. So…are we going to have make-up sex
after?
Unless you and your girlfriend know each
other well and this is a routine with you,
please do not ask it during a fight. Fighting
is not a pre-requisite to sex. While make-up
sex can be exciting, if your girl was
genuinely angry with you, asking this
question will dig you deeper into a sexless
hole. If you like yourself and like having sex
with her, listen to all she has to say.
4. Saying nothing at all
While some men feel this is the best
strategy and it will further avoid problems, it
can infuriate your girlfriend. It may seem like
she is just shouting for shouting sake but
the truth is, she is communicating a lot of
things to you and wants you to listen. She is
most likely screaming because she kept it in
for too long or she is tired of saying it
calmly. Yes, screaming is a wrong approach
to communicating her problems but you
staring at her while she is expecting answers
is a wrong response. They say silence is the
best answer for a fool and unless your aim
is to make your girlfriend feel foolish, open
your mouth and communicate.
5. Oya, sorry now
This is similar to shut up at this point. You
may think apologising before she finishes
giving you your life story is the best way to
calm her down or end her raking but it is
not. Let an arguing woman finish what she is
saying. You can say sorry as a response or
say sorry when she takes a pause but please
do not interrupt her with the sorry or say it
with the aim of making her shut up.
Sometimes you may have the right words
but the wrong delivery so study her and
know when best to apologise.
Ref: Naij
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